Today I give thanks to my dad. When several people told me what I wanted to do was impossible and I was too late, it was my dad’s voice reverberating in my mind that drowned out their negativity. My dad wise saying, “there is no such thing as can’t” , was my armchair and umbrella in the sea of negativity which four authoritative people cast me adrift in.

My reward for the an hours work and tenacity fused in the cauldron of my father’s will, should be $1800. OK, that’s almost enough hyperbole, if I had been a boy scout I would have been prepared and there would have been no need for my never say never last minute heroics.

Yesterday was the final day of he ANZ share purchase plan. Applications and money had to be in by 5.00pm. With ANZ’s share price 12% above the offer price of $14.40 I wanted to apply for our full allocation of $15k. Unfortunately I am still getting used to the intricacies of Australian share trading and the settlement period, commonly called T-3. Yesterday I discovered T-3, does not actually mean the funds from a share sale will be available to use three days later, in the case of Commsec T-3 is really T-4 when it comes to getting your cash.

I then discovered that electronic BPay does not actually work at the instantaneous electronic speed I had assumed. Yes the money disappears from your account instantaneously, but it can take a couple days to reach the destination and in the case of both the ANZ and Commonwealth Banks they don’t actually process your request until after 6.00pm on the day you enter the BPay. Customer service at both banks told me there was no way I could get the payment to ANZ in time for the 5.00pm cut off. I did point out to the ANZ customer service person how ludicrous it was that I could not use my ANZ account to pay the ANZ in a timely fashion, but apparently I was the idiot for leaving it too late.

Not to be discouraged I rang the ANZ SPP hot-line, a line which ended up being somewhat more tepid than the name implied. Despite trying every negotiating trick I knew and calling twice I was met with a solid wall of resistance. Twice I was told there was absolutely no way I could the payment to them in time, that they were no accepting hand deliveries, that payments not in their account by 5.00pm that day would be rejected and so on.

At this point I was furious. While I have no particular fondest of money, $1800 for jam was too good to pass up and as the trustee of the fund it was my responsibility to ensure I maximised the return for the fund. I was furious at myself, but fortunately my father’s voice cut through my red mist and I tried one more call.

I rang Australia Post and after a little cajoling, got the wonderful customer service my friend Susan always said Australia Post could deliver. Terry, my new best friend at Australia Post, not only found out the address for the GPO Box, she called the location, 380 Bourke St Melbourne, and confirmed I could hand deliver my application and the times the box was being cleared. She also gave me a  parting piece of advice, put a stamp on my application or it wouldn’t got in the box until the next day.

An hour later the kids and I had completed our “exciting” adventure to collect a bank cheque and drop it off in town.

Lessons learnt:

1. Don’t leave SPP applications to the last day. I already knew that, but with so many of my companies raising cash from their shareholders I was short of cash and thought I’d have no problems processing my application on the final day. As always in life it is good to give yourself some contingency, don’t leave things to the last minute. In the case of SPP applications I recommend at least one day.
2. T-3 actually means T-4 for getting your hands on the cash.
3. Bpay is not instantaneous and can take a couple days.
4. My dad was right, there is no such thing as can’t.

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